I hit a wall last night. I took a walk and when I got home I could have dropped on the couch and fallen asleep for the night, at 5pm. Maybe it was the trip to the grocery store which used to be enjoyable but now entails waiting outside until your turn, wearing a mask, wiping down the cart, etc. I am grateful for food and my health, however, it has become a stressful outing. Maybe it was the news with “I don’t know” meeting every question I have. When will it be safe to do anything?  Why do some people get symptoms and end up in the ICU and others don’t? When will the economy get back on track? I DON’T KNOW, with no clear plan or national coordinated effort in site to do the adequate testing, tracking and containment that is the ABCs of public health. Sigh, I try to focus on creating something of value, an online meditation, some new features for my website, a nice meal for my family, new garden plans. But the energy and attention are just not there. What is going on?

When faced with major stressors, the body over time, has a harder time maintaining health thus the fatigue. Choosing some kind of routine self care is critical right now.

Remember Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs?  He describes a ladder of basic, essential needs that need to be met before being able to focus on higher needs and pursuits. This pandemic has put us all at the Safety and Survival levels with a stark difference emerging between those who were living paycheck to paycheck and those with a bit of a nest egg.  I feel privileged to be able to shelter in a nice place with family I love. In reality, I am safe and secure. But many are not. My worldview has shifted to one of inter-being,  my “me” has become more of a me + we. Dr. Dan Seigel calls this recognition of our interconnectedness” m-we.” On that level, I feel the pain and fear and grief that is a palpable part of the collective. But knowing this interconnection, I also know that when I keep my peace, I am keeping the peace for all. Notice how this works in your household if you don’t believe me!

The definition of stress is anything that requires adaptation. This pandemic has required us to adapt in every way. Major life stressors include illness, job insecurity or loss, housing insecurity or loss, relationship issues, loss of social connection and grief.   So much change in so little time! This level of change is very taxing on our nervous systems. The adrenal glands are working overtime to assist the body in maintaining some kind of normal known as homeostasis. When faced with major stressors, the body over time, has a harder time maintaining health thus the fatigue.  Choosing some kind of routine self care is critical right now.

Nourish Yourself

I’d like to share my approach to coping that involves the concept of nourishment and “befriending the nervous system” as Deb Dana, LCSW and Polyvagal Theory expert teaches. I ask every new client if they feel well-nourished. Most stop and pause and have to think. I always get a very honest answer. Many say no,”I know I can take better care of myself.” Many list other ways of nourishing themselves than food, such as taking a bath or reading something soul-full or spending time in nature. We are being inundated with resources, online entertainment options, work requests, family requests, and on and on. By honoring your needs and letting your nervous system guide you to make the optimal choices to nourish yourself you send the message of safety to your brain. This allows you to shift out of fight or flight and into rest and repair mode, keeping all your systems (including the immune system!) functioning optimally.

The concept is simple and involves the following:

• Tune into your body. It is your built in guide. How does it feel? Ask what the body needs, in this moment or maybe that day. Don’t get too far ahead. More rest, more movement, some specific food?
• Do a simple test and feel how the words Yes and No feel in the body. No usually gets some kind of a contracting feeling. Yes is an opening.
• Before you choose anything, even if it is something that is supposed to be good for you,  check in with yourself and see if it’s a Yes or a No.
• If in doubt or anxious, focus your awareness on your heart and do slow deep breathing while bringing to mind something or someone you are grateful for. This aligns your mind and body and relaxes the nervous system and will allow for more clear guidance. The brain can easily become  hijacked by fear,  let the heart lead the way!

Please see other recent posts on sleep, your stress personality and ways to relax and care for the nervous system and yourself. How will you take care of yourself today?

Sleep is essential for the ability of our amazing bodies to do much needed restoration and clearing. This keeps the brain, immune system, digestive track, bones and muscles all functioning optimally.  Pre-pandemic, we already had a sleep deprivation epidemic.  Add in the major life disruption, stress, added screen time and extra alcohol, I will take a guess that sleep problems will increase.

Generally speaking, experts agree that 95 percent of adults need to sleep 7 to 9 hours each night to function optimally. 95 percent of adults who get less than 7 hours of sleep on a routine basis will experience decreased mental and physical performance. According to Harvard Medical School, The average length of time Americans spend sleeping has dropped from about nine hours a night in 1910 to about seven hours today. And according to Dr. Lawrence Epstein at Harvard Medical School, 20 percent of Americans (1 in 5) get less than six hours of sleep per night.

Most adults should be aiming for eight hours per night. Children, teenagers, and older adults typically need even more.

Why is sleep so important?

There are two parts of the sleep-wake cycle.

• The slow wave or deep sleep is when the body does its repair and restore tasks. Tissue growth and muscle and the immune system repair happen during this phase.
• REM sleep or Rapid Eye Movement phase. REM sleep is for dreaming, re-organizing information, boosting your memory and facilitating learning and brain growth.
• Without both phases, your body literally starts to die. Chronic sleep deprivation leads to weight gain, diabetes, high blood pressure, mental illness, increase infections and higher mortality.

20 percent of Americans (1 in 5) get less than six hours of sleep per night.

The Circadian Rhythm

Here are some key points in the typical 24-hour cycle:

• 6 A.M.       Cortisol levels increase to wake your brain and body
• 7 A.M.       Melatonin production stops
• 9 A.M.       Sex hormone production peaks
• 10 A.M.     Mental alertness levels peak
• 2:30 P.M. Best motor coordination
• 3:30 P.M. Fastest reaction time
• 5 P.M.       Greatest cardiovascular efficiency and muscle strength
• 7 P.M.       Highest blood pressure and body temperature
• 9 P.M.       Melatonin production begins to prepare the body for sleep
• 10 P.M.     Bowel movements suppressed as the body quiets down
• 2 A.M.      Deepest sleep
• 4 A.M.      Lowest body temperature

The Circadian rhythm is impacted by 3 main factors:  light, time and melatonin or the sleep hormone.

How To Sleep Better

• Avoid caffeine: Some people metabolize caffeine slowly so even a morning cup of coffee can affect your sleep.  A good rule if you really can’t cut caffeine is No coffee after noon.
• Limit alcohol: Yes, it helps some fall asleep but it interferes with your deep sleep and delays the REM cycle.  It can also lead to blood sugar dip, which will wake you up.
• Expose yourself to morning sunlight. During the winter, consider buying a sunlamp to simulate morning sunlight. http://www.sunbox.com
• Use the bedroom for sleep and sex only. Eliminate all screens from the bedroom.
• Set a screen (TV, computer, phone) curfew for 2 hours before you want to go to sleep. Download free software https://justgetflux.com or an app called f.lux which reduces the blue light of your screen.  Some people wear amber colored glasses while watching TV or using the computer.  Cover any digital light from alarm clocks/etc.
• Stick to a regular schedule
• Unwind before you go to sleep. Write down whatever is on your mind whether it is a to do list or something bothering you.  Better yet, write down 3 things you are grateful for.  Studies have shown this improves sleep.
• Exercise during the day but not later than 2-3 hours before bedtime.
• Stretch, do yoga or just a total body relaxation before bed to rid the body of excess stress.
• Avoid liquids 2-3 hours before bedtime.
• Sleep in a quiet, completely dark, cool room (64-68 degrees). Use ear plugs or white noise machines and an eye mask if needed.
• Supplements: Melatonin is OK in low doses for short term use.  It is a hormone and supplementing can throw your internal mechanism of production out of whack.  Magnesium supplements are a good choice.  Most people don’t get enough from their diet and it is non-toxic up to 800 mg.  There is a product called Natural Calm mixed in warm water before bed.  It can have a laxative effect.  True Calm and Quietude are also supplements to consider. Please check   with your health care provider when starting any new supplements.
• Have a tsp. of honey or a ½ banana before bed. If the liver runs out of glucose over night, you will wake up.
• Meditate by counting your breaths to 10 and then counting backwards to one.

Making sleep a priority now will boost your immunity, improve your mood, help you lose and maintain weight,  boost your creativity and problem solving and prevent premature aging.

“A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.”  

An Irish Proverb

We Are Wired For Fear

It is hard not to get caught up in the media fear frenzy surrounding coronavirus. The oldest part of our brain that is in charge of keeping us alive is on high-alert!  Back in the day when our biggest threat was a tiger, our brain would scan our environment for signals of danger, report to our body via an interconnected messenger system how to respond – stay put, fight, run or in the worst case scenario, freeze and play dead.  Our brain is wired to fixate on the negative and potential dangers to keep us safe.

Constantly searching for new information in the hopes of feeling some control only keeps us in this hyper-vigilant reactive response. Knowing that our immune system is directly linked to how much stress we are experiencing, it becomes actually harmful to our health to stay in the this cycle. Social distancing may be necessary to stop the spread of the virus but it is important to stay socially connected to keep your immune system working properly!

That soothing voice, a gentle touch, gives our nervous system the cue to relax, “I am safe here.“

How Do We Break The Cycle

It is good news that our nervous system evolved to include the Social Engagement System.  This system is designed to evoke the feelings of safety through a calm voice, friendly, empathetic facial expressions and gestures.  Think of a mother in tuned with her child who comes for comfort after being hurt or scared.  That soothing voice, a gentle touch, gives our nervous system the cue to relax, “I am safe here.”

The following are neuroscience based suggestions to keep you calm:

1. Observe and notice when you get caught up in the fear frenzy. Learn what you need to do to keep yourself and loved ones healthy and then turn off the media.
2. Tell a friend or family member about the Social Engagement System. Have a stress-free zone at home or with each other where you can give each other signals of safety – laugh, smile, talk in a calm voice. Try FaceTime or Zoom if we end up being isolated for longer periods of time. Social distancing doesn’t have to mean complete isolation. Be creative to find ways to connect. Staying calm yourself is literally contagious.
3. Since the brain sticks to the negative, it takes conscious awareness and intention to notice and amplify the positive.  I suggest setting an alarm on your phone to take a gratitude break. This brings you into the present moment and gives your brain a task to find something positive. Better yet, share your gratitude.
4. Savor the positive, it takes repeated focus to create new neural pathways so have something in sight that can be a reminder of what you love or are grateful for – a photo of loved ones or a favorite place, a flower, a shell from the ocean, an inspirational quote.
5. Create a powerful healing state called coherence by doing a quick heart-centered breath technique that calls for a 4 count inhale, 6 count exhale and really feel and focus on something you love or are grateful for.  There is an app and sensor you can get named Inner Balance (Heart Math Institute) that shows you in real-time if you are in the relaxed mode of your nervous system which is call Rest and Repair or Rest and Digest by the way.
6. Help others in need.

We Are Also Wired for Love and Bliss

Where do we go from here?  We approach this challenge like any other. We use that Social Engagement System to spread peace. What is the opportunity for growth and responding with love and kindness? We may get sick, we heal, we take care of others. We provide niches of safety to those who are in fear.  We count our blessings and notice the weaknesses in our country’s health care system (more of a sick care system), and our economy. We notice how we are a global community, so we heal together and solve our problems together. We are as Thich-Naht Hahn says, Inter-Being. Our nervous systems are not only wired for fear and love but also Bliss. This bliss is accessible in the silence of the heart. Dropping into this space turns on the part of our brain that gives us the feeling of oneness and being deeply held.  You won’t find that on social media. Wisdom and answers emerge from that space.  It’s already there, waiting for you to show up.